Look it in the Face and Keep Walking Forward
On Despair, Fear, and Defiance
It took me maybe 20 minutes to start praying this morning. I went to bed feeling pretty anxious and I tossed and turned a lot over night but I was determined not to look at my phone. “Whatever is happening, there isn’t anything I can do about it” I would repeat to myself before turning over.
I checked the results when I woke up and saw that Trump is now the projected winner. I don’t think I was shocked so much as appalled; then came the fear.
Leading up to the election the “what if” of Trump winning felt too big—too existential—a threat to really engage with plans and strategies. It still feels too big but now it is here. So this morning I prayed.
I have written about my prayer life HERE and I was feeling pretty desperate to spend some time with God today in a “maybe that will help” sort of way. This time when I prayed it felt like I had come to the edge of a forest that I have been walking through for the last few years only to find that this forest gives way to jagged cliffs and treacherous terrain. It looks foggy and dark.
And I asked “where is Jesus in this right now” and then He was there next to me. And I told him I wasn’t ready. I said that my time in the forest had not been enough for me to feel strong enough for this next challenge. And he said “it never is; these times of suffering come when they come” and I asked if there was a way to avoid this and he reminded me about a time he prayed for another way.
We didn’t have enough time to prepare. And until recently a lot of us hoped that the forest of the last four years would give way to something easier to traverse. But it didn’t. What is in front of us is what is in front of us. And this is going to suck.
[U]ntil recently a lot of us hoped that the forest of the last four years would give way to something easier to traverse. But it didn’t. What is in front of us is what is in front of us. And this is going to suck.
I believe deeply in “looking it in the face”. If Trump is able to do half of what he has said he wants to do then many (far far far too many) of us are going to fall in one way or another as we work to find a way through this place. We are not all going to make it. And those who are the most vulnerable, are going to be targeted first. This absolutely is going to suck.
And
We (the collective we) will resist; we will push through; we will stand up again and again and again against tyranny, oppression, hatred and cruelty. We will look the hate and the bile right in the eye and declare the blessedness of who we are; we will live the power of our love for one another; we will keep walking forward in the knowledge that our suffering is caused by their cruelty and not by our authenticity. We will bleed and fall and get back up, but we will—we must—resist, accompanied by the God who is near to the downtrodden, who loves the oppressed, and who stands with the marginalized.
Breathe; take comfort today in those who love you. Hold one another.
P.S.
If you are looking for some practical advice on how to re-focus your thinking over the next days, weeks, and months I would recommend the piece that Margaret Killjoy posted today (embed below).
